When someone is bereaved, there is no magic phrase to make things better, no quick fix that can take away their pain. But one of the most powerful things we can do is offer them space to talk without judgement, without rushing to fill the silences, and without trying to ‘fix’ how they feel.
Just Listening is Enough
It’s natural to want to offer comfort when someone is grieving, but sometimes, in our eagerness to help, we can unintentionally say things that don’t land well. Phrases like “At least they lived a long life” or “You’ll feel better in time” may come from a place of kindness, but grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and it certainly isn’t something to be compared or justified. What many bereaved people really need is the freedom to speak openly about their sadness, anger, guilt, or love without fear of judgment.
Silence, too, can be a gift. Sitting with someone in their grief, without feeling the need to fill the quiet, sends a powerful message: I’m here with you. You don’t have to go through this alone. It takes confidence to hold space for someone in this way, resisting the urge to offer solutions. But in doing so, we allow them to express their emotions in their own way, in their own time.
How to Support a Friend or Family Member
Supporting a grieving loved one doesn’t require grand gestures, just presence and understanding. Letting them lead the conversation is key. Some days, they may want to talk about their loss, while other days, they might need a distraction. Following their lead and respecting their needs helps them feel safe and supported. It’s also important to be mindful of the language we use. Instead of relying on clichés or trying to make things ‘better,’ acknowledging their pain with something as simple as “I’m so sorry you’re going through this” can be more comforting than trying to find the perfect words.
Patience is crucial, as grief doesn’t have an expiry date. Even months or years later, certain days, memories, or anniversaries can bring it back to the surface. Checking in, even after others have stopped asking, reminds them that their loss hasn’t been forgotten. Practical support can also make a huge difference. Everyday tasks such as cooking meals, running errands, or simply sitting with them over a cup of tea can be invaluable when they’re feeling overwhelmed. And sometimes, the most meaningful thing we can do is simply sit with them in silence, showing them they’re not alone.
Creating Space for Grief in the Workplace
Grief doesn’t disappear when someone walks into work. It lingers in quiet moments, unexpected reminders, and waves of emotion that can hit without warning. Workplaces that truly support bereaved employees recognise this and make space for it. A compassionate workplace might offer flexible bereavement leave, train managers in
active listening, or foster a culture where grief isn’t treated as something to ‘get over’ quickly.
A simple check-in, such as “How are you doing today?” with no pressure to respond in a certain way can go a long way. If someone does want to talk, knowing they will be met with understanding, rather than awkwardness, makes all the difference. Being able to grieve without fear of being seen as ‘unprofessional’ helps people navigate loss while still feeling valued and supported in their workplace.
Being There, Without the Need for Words
We don’t need to have all the answers when someone is grieving. We don’t need the perfect words. What truly matters is presence just being there, listening, and allowing the person in front of us to feel what they feel, without judgement or expectation. Sometimes, just knowing that someone is willing to sit beside us in grief is enough.
A Small Act with a Big Impact
Offering someone the space to talk or simply to be in their grief might feel like a small thing, but its thoughtful and will be met with appreciation. When we listen without judgement, when we allow silence without discomfort, we show that their grief matters, that their feelings are valid, and that they are not alone. In a world that often rushes to move on, being the person who stays, who listens and who holds space can make all the difference.
Because in the end, grief isn’t something to be ‘fixed’. It’s something to be witnessed.
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